Performance Anxiety
Hello fellow guitarists.
I, in an earlier time of my life, played sport at an elite level sometimes playing in front of hundreds of people. I decided to take up classical guitar at the tender age of 66 and I have found that unlike in my younger years when I would look forward with excitement to performing, I now suffer massively with performance anxiety. And it is getting worse. Playing for friends, family and even my guitar teacher has become something that I would much sooner run and hide than put myself through. I play by myself and record some of my playing and am, for the most part, happy with my playing. But what I do in private I struggle to reproduce in public. In golf I think they call what I suffer from, THE YIPS. Whatever the term I certainly know that my confidence is virtually non existed.
I have never taken any form on medication for performance anxiety, however I have heard that a natural supplement called PERFORMZEN is suppose to be very good and is taken by musicians. Has anyone heard of this supplement or have use this supplement?
I have been trying all the non medicated ways like deep breathing positive thinking etc etc etc with zero success. I am sure I'm not new with this problem and would appreciate any advice given.
Cheers
Michelle
69 replies
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Hi again! There's so many people sharing here. It's great that this came up. Really, we all owe for starting this thread. And getting to know all your experiences has led me to many thoughts. My take on this thing goes along what said. Most of you have expressed your PA in comparison to what you did when younger or what you did or do as a professional ... and that came after a lot of work at a more innocent age. I think you are putting too much preassure on yourselves.
even mentions playing for your family as above a doctorate thesis presentation in regards to tension. Also, the Susuki method can be learnt at any age and involves a very detailed relationship with the pieces that favors the feeling of joy at performance. It's not just a way to teach kids to learn. It's a way to teach kids to enjoy.
Of course, professional musicians also suffer from PA and there are measures to work on that
: when i was studying in Italy, Luigi Biscaldi taught me to run up and down the stairs of the apartment until my heart beat was fast and my breathing was uneasy and then come to the guitar and steady as fast as possible (through breathing anfd concentration) both and start to play. This is very much along what Lars said... and I wrote about studying deeply and connecting deeply with the piece you are playing: knowing it so much you can write the score from first to last note including all indications and fingerings, being able to play the piece just with your mind, with your hands in the air... certainly, those things help.I have been reading all your comments and learnt new things, for example about Noa Kageyama (thanks ) and went to the youtube channel and, of course, it's all very interesting with no buts.
I fear though that as put it, this has much more to do with the way we frame it than with anything else. I have chosen to take it more relaxed (and I am a professional player). And I had to accept that my kids take time, my teaching takes time and my study is reduced by all those things... and though I have more than 30 years playing guitar I still learn new things every day, there's no optimal phrasing, there is no error free performance. At least for me. But also not always for the greats. As I said, I have heard many greats doing the same kind of horrendous mistakes as any amateur and they sound as horrendous as anybody elses. Plus, the more you know, the easiest something becomes a mistake when is not exactly as you thought of it.
The awarness that comes with knowing more should not ruin the moment of sharing. Also, it's possible that, as put it, not everybody needs to share their process on a stage. Showing the work you do on your instruments has become very "institutionally goal oriented" as in "you have to show what you are working because you are paying for it and something must come out of this and it has to be shown that progress is being made" ... yeah,... welll... if that puts you in the situation of playing uncomfortably then it's not good at all.
As I said before, this is hardly something to be solved by a post, but sharing ("sharing" is a key word) is being great and, lo and behold...!! we are all sharing our imperfections and nobody is booing us for it. Why can't that be the case with sharing at performance?
Playing perfect requires a lot of work. Playing perfect, I don't think you or I understand quite right what playing perfect means!! I mean... I know you have heard someone "play perfect" but probably, the performer went home thinking "neah,... that passage was not as tight as I thought it was". Somebody told the anecdote in another forum about Jason Vieux saying that to play perfect you must make all the mistakes while performing and then work a lot at home to mend them all. I think you are all being too harsh on yourselves by trying to achieve "perfect" or even "good". I think it's comfortably good to think of the intention to do maybe "better".
And keep in mind, also, "perfect" does not prevent problems either... Great "perfect" performers have huge mental issues about it.
I am looking forward to keep learning from you and knowing you though this subject and all others. Thanks to all of you for sharing!!
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Reflecting on the previous comments here, as well as on some thoughts that I have had for a long while, I think that one of the issues that contributes greatly to our performance anxiety is social media.
Back when most of us were young, there was no such thing as "The Internet". There was no getting jealous of someone's physical appearance (as posted on platforms like Instagram and TikTok). There was no "life envy" after viewing someone's marvelous vacation experiences on Facebook. There was no 24x7 bombardment of content that made us reflect on our own lives.
When I was studying marimba, the only way that I saw other marimbists play was maybe at a national percussion convention (PASIC), or maybe when the university invited the occasional guest artist. I didn't have much to gauge my own playing against, save for the comments of my professor.
Now, we are faced with the onslaught of channels like Siccas Guitars and GSI. Every day, we log into YouTube and get a dose of near-perfect performances. Of course, most of the performances have been edited to some degree, with the guitarist sometimes being forced into miming to an edited audio recording. With so much perfection surrounding us, every little mistake that we make can be magnified in our own minds.I have been to a number of open mics where various performers have made hash out of the work they were playing. We feel some internal sympathy for the performer, knowing that we are fully capable of making the same hash out of our own pieces. At the end, people applaud, everyone says "Well done", and life goes on. And, a few minutes later, we forget about the performance.
So why are we so hard on ourselves if we play a single wrong note? Why does that bad note worm its way into our subconscious and contribute to performance anxiety? It's because we are trying to hold ourselves up to a certain standard, and we feel like we let our audience and ourselves down if we are nothing less than perfect. After playing instruments well when we were young, or maybe having some good successes in our professional lives, we find it hard to accept nothing less than a Grade A performance when our turn comes.
It would actually be educational if a platform like Siccas showed us some of the outtakes of the performances in order to show us that even the most polished performers are not perfect 100% of the time.
(Sorry for the rambling ....) -
Some wonderful comments, suggestions and advice here. It's been such a lively discussion and it's great to hear people sharing their experiences.
I have already mentioned about my own performance anxiety issues in an earlier reply. While PA might be unique to each person's experience, perhaps there are some common threads that are uniquely related to the classical guitar and it's history and tradition.
Traditionally, the classical guitar has carried with a perfectionist, academic tradition, atleast in the contemporary era. Unlike results based activity like certain sports where winning is the ultimate goal, classical guitar is often judged on process and nuances of not just rigorous technical prowess but also musical parameters like articulation, phrasing, dynamics that are often set to very high standards. I have often felt the burden of meeting such expectations even when I'm just playing to myself. If it has to be some kind of performance, slips in detail might feel like walking a tightrope.
Secondly, classical guitar is mostly a solo pursuit, unless you're lucky enough to be in the company of others as fellow enthusiasts, classmates in a conservatory, or parts of an ensemble. Unfortunately for me, I'm like an island at a place where I haven't met anyone in person who's interested in classical guitar.
This is unlike in other settings like playing acoustic or electric guitars casually in jam sessions with friends at home or in stage where responsibility might be diffused among the band members
Finally, there's online culture of 'perfection' where everyone and everything is a slice of perfection. Be it tik tok, YouTube, Facebook and classical guitar accounts like SIccas or Guitar Salon International where everything looks like perfection. We can easily fall into the trap of thinking that that's the standard we must reach or at least aspire to, thereby distorting expectations, creating undue comparisons and putting more pressure on ourselves.
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said:
Guitarists seem to be a pretty self-critical bunchMusicians are a self-critical bunch. Being self-critical comes with the job description, I think. I am son of a pianist and a violinist and I don't believe we are an island.
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Fascinating thread here. Just an observation from my side: Indeed, many musicians, especially guitarists, often late learners, or devoted amateurs with high level education and career, tend to have unrealistically high expectations and demands regarding their own playing, mainly focusing on ‘perfection’. This creates excessive stress levels.
Playing an instrument is a unique art. It cannot (should not) be judged along the same criteria as a math or science test. (Maybe at competitions, but even then…)
Music is not about playing all the notes right, having perfect technique., and following all the style rules. It’s art, it’s about telling a story and taking people, your audience, along in that story. The thing that impresses us so much is all those great composers who invented the story first and we are ‘only the medium’., and, so, must be the ‘flawless, perfect messengers’.
I refer to a beautiful and insightful lesson that Borbara Seles gave here at TB on how to make your own story and let that guide you when you play your music for an audience. It takes time and energy working on your pieces with that in mind, but it helps so much when you are with your audience (be it friends, family, your cat, or a concert hall filled with guitar freaks), just ‘creating your story‘ and focus on the continuity and the intensity of your tone, dynamics and rhythm.
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I sent a reply but do not see it. What happened.