Embarrassing Moments.

I am sure that this topic will resinate with many players as I am sure that everyone, at some stage, has had an embarrassing moment when playing. That moment when you wish there was a hole you could crawl into and hide. 

I have only been playing for about a year and a few days ago I had some friends call around for a visit. They saw my guitar and asked me to play something for them. Their expectations were far greater than my ability and whilst I attempted to play what small repertoire I had, I could tell by their body language that they were not impressed. 

It made me wish that I had hidden my guitar in the cupboard so that they had not seen it and then I would not have had to play. 

It certainly highlighted that the guitar is not an easy instrument and the incident took a toll on my confidence level. 

Whilst I see this as a set back it does not deter my enthusiasm to learn to play the guitar. However I could see how it could discourage someone to the point of giving up playing altogether. Perhaps some more wiser musicians than  I,  may have some handy tips on how to handle such situations. 

Cheers

Michelle

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  • Chose a repertoire of easier but lively tunes. It doesn’t matter if you make a couple of mistakes, but try playing with musicality. Have a look at a few tunes by Maria Linnamen, she has written some beautiful songs. Jacques

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    • Jacques farmer lovely not lively sorry

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    • Jacques farmer I knew what you meant and great advice.

      Cheers 

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    • Tom Taube
    • Tom_Taube
    • 2 mths ago
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    Do not worry there will be another time and those people will see your improvement and a lot of times people support you and it’s hard to tell. It’s all in your head keep playing. You will be fine. Every guitar player in the world experiences this at one time or another. We need another good guitar player in the world. Keep playing.!

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  • There will always be those moments; the "fix" is to be well prepared to play through them instead of getting distracted, blanking out next notes, and feeling lost. 

    First step is to know the piece in your head: listening, singing, visualization of technical challenges and anticipating your "trouble spots", all before you pick up the guitar.  Next step is to be very well prepared technically.  The closer you come to having the piece memorized, the better. 

    Then when you stumble you're better prepared to keep your focus on playing forward instead of falling after the stumble.

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  • This was certainly a new experience for you. We often struggle in new settings. In sports, wise coaches take their teams to playing fields not known. The athletes look around see the same shapes and dimensions. With that, pick up your guitar and play in a room with one or two friends, record yourself and sit back in a chair to hear and view the recording. That is, see and hear yourself. Oh, and never apologize! Enjoy your journey! Pick one (a few) pieces you really know and go for it. I like Forgotten by Catharina Josepha Pratten. Tell the story of the author, play a composition, and bow!

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    • Stephen Holland Thanks Stephen I will look at that piece you mentioned. 

       

      Cheers

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    • Michelle Roper 

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    • Michelle Roper Good luck. I was talking with my guitar coach the other day on playing for others. He is very experienced as a performer. He said most performers will have a few go-to pieces at the ready. They work on other pieces that become part of routines once learned. Good luck and keep enjoying the journey.

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  • I have two stories, one strictly about playing, and the other just a silly stage goof.  

    I played in a duo for ten year with Neil Anderson, an important teacher and organizer in the Boston area.   We played many concerts in Jordan Hall at NEC.   In our 1981 concert, we were playing the Chaconne by Matanya Ophee.  it was the last piece on the first half, and ends in a double tremelo played at fortississimo.  About 30 bars from the end, my a nail tore off and went flying into the audience.   I managed to finish, but during the intermission Neil put a fake nail on my a finger.  I played the 2nd half with a fake nail -- I had never used fake nails, but managed to make it through the rest of the concert.   audio recording is available. 

     

    In another concert with Neil in Jordan Hall in 1986, we were sitting on chairs which had a prominent lip on the front.  by the end of the 1st half, circulation to my lower legs was completely cut off, and both legs had gone to sleep.  I wasn't aware of it until I stood up to take a bow, and with no feeling in my legs in stumbled and would certainly have fallen to the floor if Neil hadn't grabbed me.  with his assistance I hobbled off stage.  we changed the chairs during intermission! 

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    • Dave McLellan That was well done. I often wonder what would happen if a player broke a string half way through a performance. Although I would imagine those performing concerts would obviously have a back up guitar.

       I admire those who are able to perform on stage. I think it takes a special person to be a performer. 

       

      Cheers

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  • That happens to me sometimes when I’m excited about learning anew piece and decide to play it prematurely for a friend/family member lol you’re far from alone & carry on! 
     

    Re: musical humiliation - So once, in 1991, at 16 yrs old, I performed in front approx. 1,000 ppl - our singer was a late conscript as we couldn’t find anyone prior to the “battle of the bands” although we were up for the challenge. 
     

    Although I refuted the idea of bringing him on ill-prepared, the other guys were wanting to hit the stage so they said give him a chance!

     

    Doesn’t the so-called “vocalist” not only, forget many of the lyrics in each of the songs, but with even having the lyrics in a duo tang/folder open to read in large letters beside the mic-stand, he STILL managed to humiliate every. single. One. Of. Us….needless to say, I was the lead guitar player and I fired him backstage! He begrudgingly understood and secretly resents me to this day, instead of himself! lol 

     

    That being said, lots of the audience said the music was deadly, but the singer had to go! 
     

    So lesson learned. ALWAYS be prepared, or prepare instead to be red in the face. 

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  • It does resonate with me. I often suffer from imposter's syndrome, especially as we see so many perfect players playing perfectly on YouTube etc. I also have extreme stage fright even though I have never played before an audience. The very thought of recording myself for reviewing myself makes me anxious, let alone play for others. That being said, I've participated in a few community challenges here on TB and the community members are so supportive. I'd encourage you to participate if you can.

    They're are a few things I try to keep in perspective when I judge myself. I've heard many people say that there's always going to be someone else who's better, faster, more talented than you. So, I might be in any part of that spectrum.

    Classical guitar is a tough but incredibly rewarding instrument. I try to enjoy the experience and the journey of learning. The joy that I experience while learning and playing is equally if not more important than what I can produce as a final outcome.

    I hope my thoughts resonate with you too.

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    • Nijwm Bwiswmuthiary How true. Classical guitar is an amazing instrument. But I guess we all have those embarrassing moments that years later we remember and then enjoy a chuckle. I can already see the funny side. 

      My posting of this topic was not to have a pity party but to engage with other musicians that have been there done that. 

      You make great points. 

       

      Cheers

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  • Get new friends.
    Seriously, I've been studying classical guitar for 2 1/2 years, and though I've played on and off for 55 years or so, I am NOT an advanced player.
    So when I decided to register for the New York Guitar Seminar (at Hunter College this year), I decided to audit.
    There were a LOT of guitar luminaries there--too many to name.  But every last one was very supportive and complementary.  And next year I plan to sit for master classes.  I've found the guitar community to be really supportive--and yeah, they know what you're going through!

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    • Steven Bornfeld Just thought of another instance.  A couple of years ago played at my teacher's student recital.  We were already on edge, as my teacher's husband had gotten into a screaming match with the landlord of the place we were to perform.
      I was to play the Prelude from Bach's first 'cello suite.  I had the 4 pages placed on the stand (my teacher had recommended I get the K & M Robby Plus stand, which could accommodate 4 pages.
      I had gotten halfway through when a gust of wind from the ceiling fan blew the score all over the stage, sending me and my poor teacher scrambling desperately to put things right.
      Even at the time I saw the humor in that.
      Now I try to memorize my pieces, and if I can't I have an ipad and page turner.

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    • Steven Bornfeld I like that. "Get new friends!" They are nice people but I can understand, to a point, why people who don't play any instrument have an expectation that just because you are then you must be good. Nevertheless as I have said it does not dampen my enthusiasm to be a good player. The guitar is a magical instrument. 

       

      Many thanks. Cheers

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    • Michelle Roper Enjoy the journey! (If you're anything like me, you WILL get new friends--not suggesting you ditch the old ones).

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  • Sometimes the embarrassing moments come upon no matter how well we plan. I was asked to play at a Christmas celebration in a church. I practiced my numbers and felt very prepared. I had my music marked to the pages I needed. I went to the church several times to become familiar with the surroundings and sound. On the night of the performance, I set up my music on a stand and went backstage to await my turn. Another performer, though, was ahead of me in the rotation. He, by the way, rarely was to be seen in practice sessions. When my turn came, I walked onto the altar only to discover that my music was missing. The person ahead of me had moved it. Not only that, he also had closed all my books and changed the equipment to fit is needs without changing back anything. Eventually, I found my materials, adjusted the equipment to my needs, and performed. However, it took me a few moments to lower my stress level before playing that first note.

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  • Michelle, to be sure, classical guitar is a unique breed within the "guitar" world.  When somebody says play something, most likely they mean the Eagles, Fleetwood Mac, or whatever pop songs are in vogue at the time.  Surely they are not expecting Sor, Guiliani, or Carcassi. Lol, I've been in such situations many times and I have been playing all my life. My advice is to play to your audience.  Learn some simple 4-chord songs to loosen up the crowd, and then, when you are warmed up, play your classical stuff. You'll be more at ease, and they will be more attentive. Also, have a few go-to simple classical pieces on hand for that day; somebody does say "play something." 

    As far as getting discouraged, play for love, not adoration. Enjoy the learning process. Once you start studying music and this instrument, the more you know, the more you realize how much you don't know.

     

    Cheers

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    • Michael Shirk Hi Michael You are soooo right. Most people associate guitar to an acoustic guitar strumming a tune that they are familiar with. I have been learning Spanish Romance which is a favourite but unfortunately I don't play as well as I would like too. I certainly love my guitar and love playing it so I am not too stressed about this not so good attempt. I also have not played for someone else other than my teacher so stage fright most likely was an issue. Human nature is that we all want to do things well. 

       

      Thanks for the advice.

      Cheers

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